


Game Restart

by Sukunami



Series: Game Restart [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-01
Updated: 2002-08-27
Packaged: 2019-02-06 11:46:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12816840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sukunami/pseuds/Sukunami
Summary: Squall thought everything was done, his role finished, but then he wakes up at the beginning one more time. Exhausted and frustrated, he decides to do whatever it takes to prevent war.





	1. Chapter 1

|Squall|

The first thing I am aware of while waking up is that my head is killing me. With a wry smile, I consider it nothing horrible after all the shit I've been through. The second thing I notice is that it's too damn bright in this room.

"Oh, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"... ..." Why the hell am I in the infirmary with Dr Kadowaki? I have powerful enough healing spells such that this shouldn't be necessary.

"Say your name for me."

"...Squall." Something is wrong with this.

The moment Dr. Kadowaki starts into her rant about fighting with Seifer, I feel like I've been slammed in the stomach, suddenly unable to breath. With a surprisingly steady hand, I touch my forehead to find the bandaging I don't want to be there. Sitting up straight, I startle the motherly doctor out of her lecture.

"Just a moment, young man. You lie back down until your teacher comes for you. Let's see... Professor Trepe wasn't it?"

I barely hear her instructions through the pounding within my head, lying down more for myself than for the sake of following orders. Damn, I know it didn't feel like this before, not this painful. Dr Kadowaki leaves the room to call up Quistis, thankfully leaving me by my lonesome. More slowly this time, I sit up on the bed. Gripping the edge of my shirt collar, I pull it to the side to look at my shoulder. It was there - the scar left from too much time between receiving the giant icicle through my body and healing after being rescued at the prison.

Closing my eyes, I fall back onto the thin mattress. If the war in my memories wasn't a dream, then maybe this is my nightmare to relive it. But the glaring white light penetrating my eyelids and the lumpy bed under me were too real for that to be true. If anything, the celebration party at the Garden was more so the dream. Perhaps, the Time Compression...

A familiar woman's voice brings me out of my thoughts. Without processing her words, I interrupt her, "Sis?"

"Eh? How..."

I open my eyes to look at the shorthair woman to my side. "Thank Hyne. Do you know what's happening to me?"

"W, what are you talking about, Squall?"

"I don't want to do it again."

A pause. "Do what?"

"Everything."

She looks worriedly at me with a 'poor thing, you must have really gotten smacked in the head' type of expression. "Listen, I can't stay. We'll talk again."

"...Whatever."

And she's gone much like the ghost that I had first thought her to be. I had always considered the phrase 'frustrated to tears' being used by people who couldn't handle a bit of a challenge in life, but I now know exactly where they are coming from. However, there's no time to cry - Quisty will be here soon.

On cue the regal blonde makes her entrance with that arrogant attitude that had been diluted a bit during the war. Hyne help me, why do I have to deal with this once again?

"I knew it was going to be either you or Seifer."

Ignoring the painful argument from my head, I get up quickly and rise from the infirmary bed. Without sparing her a glance, I walk pass Quistis and to the hallway. Flustered, she tries to keep up with my larger strides while lecturing me or something. Damn, at least as the Commander of SeeDs I could order her to be quiet on occasion, but I'm not even a SeeD at the moment.

Not listening to what she says, I reply the standard, "Whatever." She of course mimics the word.

Laughing, Quistis says, "I think I'm beginning to understand you."

I stop in my tracks and glare at her. "Never assume that."

She backs away at the growled tone, suddenly not quite certain of the supposed knowledge she has about me. Turning sharply I walk further into the pristine Garden. It's strange seeing several students walking about without a care beyond passing the next test, meanwhile I know which ones should die in the coming weeks.

I don't pay attention in class once I get there and into my seat. It doesn't matter much anyway. Shortly after this, I know I have to pass the Fire Cavern test with Quistis, but that leaves an interesting question: should I junction with GF's? They destroy memories of their hosts and who knows what else, but right now the memories of before may be most important to me. I can't risk them if it could be helped, despite how much I would prefer forgetting the past or future.

 

* * *

 

 

Sitting on the fountain edge in Dollet, I stare down at my blade in a partial daze. Lion Heart has thankfully traveled with me to this time, thus making junctioning unnecessary for the moment. In addition, I can feel the echoes of Shiva, Diablo, and the others we have conquered, all of them waiting patiently for my summons. Could they recognize their masters even across time? Either way, I should be able to use them for a great advantage.

Leaning back with a sigh, I think about how it's rather amusing to be 'Squall of the future' despite the downfalls I know are coming. In a gratifying way, I have confused quite a few people in a short amount of time. I caught Selphie instead of running into her at the Garden and called her by name to her bafflement. The Fire Cavern was pathetically simple, my skill leagues beyond Quisits. She barely got in a hit during the random fights and I even wasn't junctured. And I know Seifer senses something unusual about me, and while he has yet to mention anything directly, I know that he has to be bothered by it.

"What the fuck is up with you?"

I look sideways at the towering blonde, but I don't reply. Of course Seifer would interrupt my thinking session. A brief glance around and I notice the noisy dog probably got kicked out of the way already. I guess I could've remembered to protect the pathetic thing from Seifer's boredom, but that would have required standing up.

"Answer when your leader asks something. And while you're at it, where did you get that beauty? It could've helped you in our little duel." He sneers at me, certainly thinking the gunblade wouldn't be enough of a handicap to help me defeat him. I'm tempted to wipe that look off his face.

Slinging the blade carefully over my shoulder, I stand up and start walking to the side. "It doesn't matter. Soldiers are coming."

Zell stops his shadow boxing for a moment to look at me with puzzlement. "What? I don't hear any-- Ah, crap."

Sounds of boot on stone echoes between the buildings as several soldiers come running our way. The two blondes rush towards my spot as I lean comfortably against the wall. The group of men don't notice us as they leave the courtyard and hurry off to the communication tower.

Seifer stands up with a swing of his gunblade. "They're up to something and we're going to follow them."

"No way, man. We were told to stay here. Right, Squall?"

"And disobey our leader's orders?"

The taller blonde smirks at that one. In unexpected and sudden realization, I recognize that Seifer actually has potential to be an excellent leader. First, he is capable of making quick decisions based on his own ideas of proper action. All in all, these soldiers are up to something suspicious, thus it should be investigated. Second, he isn't afraid of taking responsibility. He knows full well that Zell and I will get points for following orders and none of the blame for leaving our stationed area. And then there is that overwhelming charisma of his which I had forgotten about. Too bad he tends to act like a lone, asshole wolf.

Zell puts a hand to his forehead. "You've got to be kidding me. You and Seifer agree about something? I thought you hated each other's guts."

"Whatever."

"You can stay here if you want, Chickenwuss." With no other warning, Seifer runs off to chase after the soldiers.

"Stop calling me that!" Fuming, Zell is only a few steps after me as I follow Seifer's lead.

 

* * *

 

 

The test thankfully finished, Selphie waves a bit as the three of us part ways at the Garden's front gates. Zell was a bit pissed at Seifer for taking the car back without us, but I personally believe that these two needed the experience anyway. The monsters in this area aren't that dangerous, so it's a good time to get in the extra practice especially considering the battles before us.

Walking into the Garden, I find the tall blonde scowling off to the side. I walk up to Seifer but don't say anything as I lean against the low wall. Sea green eyes look at me with a glint of anger, but apparently he doesn't feel like starting up a conversation himself and like hell I want to start anything resembling small talk. Soon enough, Cid waddles up to us. He gives Seifer some kind of lecture about why the blonde didn't pass the exam, but I don't pay attention. Instead I focus on those eyes burning with hatred - they are stunning but alarming.

Once Cid leaves, I stand up from the wall to gain Seifer's attention. "I want a rematch."

His eyebrows scrunch in confusion. "What the fuck are you talking about, Leonhart?"

"I want a rematch of our latest duel, but this time let's put a bet to it."

He straightens, a smirk replacing his scowl. "Oh? And what do you have in mind?"

"For one week the loser has to do the winner's biddings."

"I didn't realize you were so anxious to be my slave."

"... ..."

"I'm game. When and where."

"Tomorrow, sunrise. The usual place."

"Fine. But remember, Leonhart, if you don't show, it's the same as losing."

I walk away not bothering to reply to the obvious.

Despite the fact I no longer care for the man, that I may even hate him, there is no fucking way I'm fighting him again. I barely got through it the first time around using Rinoa as an emotional crutch (and a poor one at that), but I'd rather kill myself than be forced to seek out Seifer's blood a second time.

Darker thoughts swirling in my head, I go up the elevator to the next floor. There's already a large group of potential SeeDs waiting for the results of the test. I lean back against the wall, cross my arms and close my eyes as the rhythmic footfalls of Zell's pacing somewhat soothes me into a blissful zoning state. Eventually the robed faculty member comes out to announce the lucky new SeeD members. I walk automatically at the sound of my name and enter the elevator.

As the four that have passed the exam, we now have to stand in place while Cid tries a pep talk about becoming a SeeD. Whatever. When he dismisses us, I don't leave the office that looks strange without the platform rising from the center of it.

"Oh, were you waiting around for this?" He hands me a rather worthless meter, for which I mutter 'thanks' and place it in my pocket to be forgotten about.

I speak up before he can turn away. "Sir, I think Seifer should be promoted to SeeD."

He raises an eyebrow at the statement. "Isn't Seifer your rival? I didn't think you were on friendly terms."

"He can be a good leader, sir." Just as he led an army to attack this Garden and killed so many young lives.

"Be that as may, the boy needs to learn some patience and how to be a part of the group. Did he not leave you behind at several instances?"

"He needs more experience and not training, sir."

The portly man takes a small step back at that, giving himself a better angle to examine me. "You seem different from the last time I saw you. I assume you have a reason for defending your rival to the point of endangering your recent promotion."

The robed faculty member behind Cid cleared his throat loudly. "Headmaster, we have other things to attend to at this moment."

Unseen from the other's position, irritation flashes in the old man's eyes. "I understand." He leans in a bit to whisper to me. "I wish I could help, but what has been decided has been decided."

I nod my understanding and then stride out of the office. It had been a long shot to try and give Seifer the rank he wanted, but plan A was still in effect for tomorrow morning. I'm almost positive I can win the match. It'll be difficult unjuctured to the GFs, but it wouldn't be fun without some kind of challenge to it. Now the question is what to do with that brief power over him.

I go directly to my room to change into my usual - white shirt, dark leather pants plus belts, and the jacket. Pleased to have successful avoided Selphie (I don't have patience or energy to be dragged to the dance), I head outside and to a small cliff that overlooks the ocean. A refreshing breeze flows over me while I lie on the ground and stare up into the darkened sky. Exhaustion fills every part of me and nothing has even started yet, really.

Fireworks explode in the sky and I smile. Managed to avoid Rinoa and Quistis all in one night. Not too shabby. Ellone will probably still get into danger at the training center, but those white SeeD members should be able to protect her fine enough. That is, unless she was merely following me that time and won't even end up in the training center this night.

"A-aw, is the little Ice Prince taking his nap?"

Sitting up, I look behind me to find Seifer several meters away. "Don't you have a girlfriend waiting for you, Almasy?"

"You know about her? I thought you were a no show at the party."

"... ..."

WIth a groan, Seifer more falls than sits next to me. "We already met up. I introduced to her Cid and then sneaked away while she did her 'rebels with a cause' talk. It gets dull the fortieth time you hear it. She _is_ a beauty, though."

"... ..."

"What the fuck were you doing talking to Cid about me?"

I narrowed my eyes. "He told you."

"He commented on the fact that he was pleased that we were finally getting along. I can only assume you said something to him."

"Whatever."

"There's something up with you lately. Did I rattle your brains in that last fight?"

"Something like that."

He looks up into the nearly full moon. "I'm bored. Any reason to wait until the morning for our rematch?"

My lips curl up in the barest of smiles. "There's enough light for me."

"I don't want to hear your whimpering after I win. Be prepared to buy me dinners for the next week."

I stand up smoothly and walk to my normal starting point. Unsheathing Lion Heart, I watch Seifer closely as he takes Hyperion from its holster. The night is completely still for several heartbeats as we focus solely on each other and plan a method of attack. There is the sound of one footstep when we advance at the same instant. Two masterpiece blades connect in a flashing strike and we separate. The smirk that the blonde held going into the match is replaced with an uncertain frown, but I won't give him the time to think this through. Going full speed this time, I charge the unprepared man and swing my blade into his, Hyperion torn away from its master. Continuing with the momentum, I drive forward with my shoulder and knock the larger man down. Barely winded, I look beneath me at Seifer, my arm firm but not constricting against his throat.

He should be furious and trying his hardest to throw me off of him, but Seifer never was one to do as expected. Unjunctured myself, there is nothing I can do when the frustrating man casts a simple and dangerous spell: scan.

His eyes open wide then narrow. "What the fuck... Are you on turbo steroids or something? You aren't even junctioned for those stats."

I look into those aqua eyes in the attempt to form a decision. My logical side comes to the conclusion that Seifer has enough information by chance to be burdensome to me. He might as well learn the rest even though he probably won't believe a word of it. At least, not without some kind of proof.

I get off the blonde and head towards the Garden. "Come with me."

I hear him rise unhurriedly to his feet and then grab his disarmed gunblade. "Gonna show me your secret stash? I may be an idiot, but at least I'm clean. One hundred percent natural in my godliness."

Most of the walk back to my 'new' single room, I endure Seifer's jabs of various sorts. It's strange how different these comments are without the hate filling each word as they had in the past months. They are almost amusing this way. It's been easier to get readjusted to this Seifer than I would have believed possible.

I enter the small room and leave the door open for an invitation inside, the sound of the door closing signals our privacy. Not facing the silent blonde, I slowly take off my gloves and toss them onto the bed. My jacket soon follows, my arms bare in the light.

"Shit."

I turn at the loud whisper and quickly take off my t-shirt. I let it fall to the ground, currently not caring about the minor disarray it causes in the room.

"What... When did..."

Rubbing my hand across my stomach, I follow one thick line of burnt skin that is still red after a rather short time period since the battle with Ultimecia. "It's too complex to explain, but I've somehow traveled back about two months in time. There was... _is_ going to be another Sorceress War."

A blonde eyebrow raises. "A Sorceress War? Don't fuck with me, Leonhart. Sorceresses aren't even--"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

Seifer straightens at the quiet question, and then eventually sneers at me. "You don't talk enough to form a decent lie. So, why tell me?"

I look to the side to avoid those piercing eyes. "You asked."

In my mind, though, I'm certain I would have eventually told him. He's the only one who really listens to what I say. For every word I speak out, Seifer could always read the sentences behind it. Sometimes I wonder if he is able to find his way through my very thoughts, through every shield I've created.

Suddenly there is a feather light touch at my shoulder. Before I think about it, I have Seifer face first into the wall and his arm trapped at his back in a painful angle. I release the hold instantly and step back before the blonde can recognize the shaking of my hands on his arm. Standing up straight and forcing myself back to a neutral state, I watch Seifer as pushes up from the wall to glare at me.

"What's your problem?"

"... ..." I can't apologize to him, the feel of remorse no where within me.

He massages his tender wrist. "Never mind. I was just curious where you got that beauty." He points at the largest of the battle scars on my shoulder.

"Icicle."

"Riiiight. Why didn't you heal yourself?"

"I wasn't able to." I shift my stance and look directly into his eyes. "You're coming with the rest of my team tomorrow."

Confusion crosses his face at the change in subject. "Why should I?"

"You lost. For the next week, you belong to me."

"Oh, very nice, Leonhart. Now let's try for something that resembles an explanation."

"... ..."

He smirks at the lack of response. Crossing his arms, he walks over to the bed and gets comfortable. "I have all night, Squally-boy. Let's have it."

With a sigh, I pick up the fallen shirt and put it on to stop the feel of his gaze on my body. "You were planning on going to Timber yourself tomorrow. I can't stop you, but I'm not letting you go on your own."

"Don't you trust me to follow you orders this week?"

"That isn't the problem." Strange enough, I do trust him. He's an arrogant bastard, but one with an odd sense of honor. I don't want him to be alone when facing the sorceress. I haven't a clue as to what she told Seifer that day to persuade him, but I will make certain he isn't taken away again. Even leaving him at the Garden could be dangerous.

"Just can it with the mysterious crap. Obviously you're trying to prevent something. If I know about it, I can avoid it myself, right?"

I pause, trying to decide how much he truly believes me. "A sorceress will try and make you her knight tomorrow."

"A knight, huh? That sounds pretty classy, obviously well suited for a guy like me."

"Hn... Then, did you purposefully decide to fight against me?"

Unfortunately Seifer hears my quiet tone and frowns but doesn't reply.

"If you join her, you are against SeeD and humanity."

"You make it sound like the two are separate things. Tired of being a killer already, Leonhart?"

I ignore the comment. "I won't fight you again."

"Let me guess - sticking by my side tomorrow is your big plan to prevent my choice of the dark side, hmm? What if I decide she has the better deal than the shit I'm getting here? What then, hero?"

"I won't fight you again," I reiterate.

"Phft. Like hell you could stand by while a war..." His breath halts and sea-green eyes stare into me. "What exactly is your backup plan?"

"None of your business."

"I beg to differ. If I'm on the same line here, my decision will determine the fate of your life."

"Don't care for the responsibility, Almasy?"

His eyes widen a bit at the confirmation of his theory.

"Don't worry. If you go to her side again, you won't give a fuck that I'm not around." I open the door and stand next to it. "Get out."

"Just one freaking moment. What did I do to you as this so-called knight?"

"It wasn't a suggestion. Out." If I could prevent the future I've lived through, he doesn't need to know about the murder, the destruction, and the hate...he doesn't need to know about any of it.

Seifer rises from the bed, his searing gaze never losing contact with my eyes. He walks towards the doorway with long, slow strides and leaves without a pause or a word to me. I close the door and stare into the room though focus on nothing. For a long time I stand there while avoiding the bed and his scent that must be lingering on those sheets.

 

{Continued}

 

Author's Note - For those who haven't guessed it yet, I got this idea based off the feature in some RPG games where you can restart the game starting with everything you had the first time you played (Chrono Cross is one game of probably several games that does this). This includes stats, weapons, and some items. Although, for this story, the main character is the only one this happens to and he also remembers all the shit he went through the first time thus he can avoid it. ^_-


	2. Chapter 2

|Seifer|

I finger the brown locks of hair that had been too conveniently placed in my lap as Squall slept. It was quite the surprise for Zell and the girl... Selphie this morning when I was waiting for them by the station. They had turned to look at their leader for some kind of action, but Squall didn't show any expression that revealed his thoughts about my appearance. I assume he expected it, though, since he had extra gil to pay for my ticket to Timber. Without disagreement from the Ice Prince, the two other kiddies went along with it.

Some time after the train began to move, Selphie complained of not feeling well and promptly fell asleep, which was quite odd for a girl who appeared to have an unhealthy obsession about trains. The real shocker was when battery boy collapsed into slumber. I was about to ask Squall what was up, but he was already relaxed in his sitting position with eyes closed. It only took one sharp, bumpy turn to make him tilt too far and slide into me. Gently, I maneuvered him such his head rested comfortably on my thighs and into his current situation.

I didn't realize it until seeing his face slack in sleep, but the man is exhausted. Judging by what little he told me, there's probably good enough reason for that. At first I didn't want to believe such an unlikely story, but his body and words are all the evidence I need to know it's true. Those scars are results of deep wounds, certainly nothing he could hide from me in the past week since I saw him shirtless during a dueling session.

And Squall has never lied to me.

Treading dangerous lines, I brush an ungloved finger down his cheek that is as cold as his personality. His eyelids flutter slightly, but thankfully don't open. The man is beautiful. A body of smooth lines and velvet that covers the solid ice beneath. A quiet voice rarely used while stone-gray eyes reveal everything unsaid, at least to those who look closely enough. An overall image of loveliness in conjunction with strength and pride.

Sure, I love my women - gorgeous, soft, warm - and the idea of sleeping with a man doesn't do it for me. I'm not afraid of homosexuality or anything, I simply can't get it up for another guy. Except Squall. He's always the fucking exception to the rule. The Garden is full of pansies that can't handle a decent fight, except Squall. Everyone gives me shit and lies, except Squall. No one is worth my time, except Squall.

Someday I will make this man mine.

I smile at the pathetic chance of that one. Even if the guy could handle being with another man, I'd be far down on his list. Introducing me to the wall last night was a strong enough hint to tell me that he can't even bear my touch.

A loud yawn forces me to look away from the unusual sight of the peaceful brunette. Leaning back with my arms resting on the seatback, I hope it looks like Squall just happened to fall where he did and I didn't want to bother moving him. The first awake, Selphie looks at me with uncomprehending eyes, blinks, and then yawns again. A moment later, I feel the energy in the room spike just before the short blonde jumps up from his sleeping position into a fighting stance as if ready to defend himself.

"Dreaming of me? I'm touched, Chickenwuss."

Zell seems to gain some kind of sense of reality as he blushes and lowers his hands. "Who would dream of you?"

Selphie giggles. "Yeah, especially when we can dream of longhaired hunks."

"Yeah-- Hey, wait! That's not what I mean!"

I sneer at him. "Might as well go for it. Not like a woman will give you the time of day."

Zell's face gets redder but from anger instead of embarrassment. "Why are you with us anyway? Like we need a low ranking cadet to slow us down."

I narrow my eyes, only the weight on my thighs keeping me from jumping him.

"Enough." Squall pushes himself up without a sign of awkwardness or irritation over his previous position. Looks like those walls of his have gotten better over the course of a war.

"Morning, great leader! Were you dreaming of men, too?" Selphie smiles naively, though it doesn't quite touch her eyes.

He sighs. "We all had the same dream of Laguna and them. Our stop is coming up, so we'll just have to leave it at that."

After a stunned moment, Zell and Selphie start speaking at once about this Laguna and whatever dream they had, pressing Squall for more information. He simply stands and walks pass them for the exit as if they were uninteresting statues. The girl pouts and stomps her foot at the unresponsive brunette.

With a chuckle, I get up from the seat. "Come on, kiddos. There's time for play later."

 

* * *

 

We follow our unimpressive contact into an abandoned train turned headquarters. The two men introduce themselves as Watts and Zone, the latter apparently the leader of this hopeless group. The Forest Owls... even their name is pathetic.

Squall elbows me and nods further inside the train. "Go get Rinoa."

I repress a curse in response and head for the doorway. Of course, the Forest Owls is that group she always rambles on about. I never really paid an attention to what she said, only listening for the key points that I could use to earn favors, such as getting her the meeting with Cid. I'm still waiting for my return on that one.

I don't bother knocking on the door and simply walk into her room to find the princess sleeping soundly in the middle of the afternoon. That dog of hers growls a bit at me when it runs up behind me, but then lies down to the side for its nap since his doggy duty was done. Smirking, I walk to the bedside and gently shake her awake.

Rinoa blinks several times before recognizing me and then wraps her arms around my neck. "Oh, Seifer! You've come to help me. I knew you wouldn't let me down."

"Of course, lovely." I lift her off the bed and onto floor. "The other SeeDs are waiting for us up front."

Rinoa pouts at me with practiced perfection. "Couldn't they wait a little bit?" She brushes a finger against my lip.

"Trust me, you don't want to make one of them more grumpy than he normally is." I kiss her forehead, hoping it would be enough for her right now.

She sighs. "Alright, but only because it's you."

I smile my thanks with a bit of effort. Seems like she is getting too close to the clinging point in this relationship. Perhaps a few more nights of pleasure and then I should take my leave of her. Such a shame since Rinoa is stunning with deep black hair framing cream colored features, truly the appearance of a fairy tale princess. Then again, I won't miss the princess attitude that comes with the looks.

The two of us join up with the others in the main cabin, and after brief introductions, we go to the 'war room' to learn about the coming mission. Pointing out the details with a small model, they lay out the plan to assassinate some president. It seems a bit complex for something that could probably be best handled by a sniper gun. I glance over to Squall who leans comfortably against the far wall with his eyes closed. Glad to know someone else isn't amused by this.

Once the explanation is finished, the brunette speaks out. "Scrap the plan. It's worthless."

"W, what? How can you say that?" Rinoa glares at him. "You're supposed to help us in our mission. You can't reject it."

Gray-blue eyes shift our way. "It's not the mission I'm rejecting, just the plan. It won't work."

"And how do you know that? I think it's a great plan, and no one will be able to link it to us this way."

I clear my throat at the naivety of this princess. "This guy knows his stuff, babe. I would listen to what he says if I were you."

Again the pout appears. "But we worked so hard on this, and I like the dummy president we made. Everything is perfect! And he," she points accusingly at Squall, "doesn't know anything. We did all of the research. The train times, the codes, everything."

Stubborn royal pride. "Have you considered that the information you received was for a setup? Presidents in general tend to be paranoid bastards. Did you check to see if there were decoy trains or the like scheduled? It's standard procedure."

She blinks naively. "I...don't know. Watts was in charge of information."

At the sound of his name, the man turns to look interestedly at a corner of the room thus avoiding eye contact.

Squall leans up to his feet abruptly and begins to walk out of the room, boots echoing on metal. "We attack at the TV station."

The lot of us are left in the room in quiet confusion. Rinoa tugs at my jacket sleeve to gain my attention. "Seify, how did he know the backup plan?"

I wink at her. "I told you. He knows his stuff. Give me a moment, would you."

A touch forcefully, I pull myself from the dark-haired beauty's grasp and walk quickly after Squall. A brief glance outside and I find him staring at an oddly shaped bottle. His gunblade in hand, he lets the bottle fall to the ground and shatter. Darkness lifts from the shards, sunlight practically pushed away from that spot. A giant bat-winged demon forms from the black haze and looks down threateningly at Squall. I'm about to pull my own blade to help the reckless brunette, but just then an odd sound much like a chuckle emits from the demon as he nods slightly and disappears.

Squall sheaths his gunblade, and after a mere glimpse at me, he starts walking away.

"Damn it, don't do stuff like that and walk off. What the fuck were you doing?"

"Testing a theory."

He doesn't pause in his stride, forcing me to catch up to him and keep pace. "It was successful - you've proven yourself a dumb ass. What were you thinking to face a GF like that alone?"

"He knew his master."

"You've already conquered Diablos? Shit. What other GFs do you have lying around unjuctioned?"

"Enough."

"'Enough,' he says. Is that five or fifty, Leonhart?"

"... ..."

"Alright, what exactly are you pissy about now? You're the one who told me to tag along on this trip."

Squall stops suddenly, hands tightly fisted at his sides. "How did you know?"

"That you're upset about something? You're clenching your ass tighter than usual."

Something passes in those gray-blue orbs, but he turns to look to the side before I can identify anything. "You knew the train could be a trap."

"Oh, that. I was just going with a hunch. So, do I win a cookie for getting the right answer?"

"I never considered it."

I study his profile, admiring the way his thick lashes turn almost golden in sunlight. "Don't stress over it. It was your comment that clued me in, anyway."

"... ..." His thoughts are unspoken, but clear to me - 'was it my fault for not being good enough?' When will he learn that worrying over the past won't get you further into the future. All that time he spends thinking is wasted on events already come and gone.

"Focus on the present, Leonhart. It won't do us any good if you have a mental breakdown before it's finished."

Stormy eyes look at me with a side-glance, but at least some of the tension has left those shoulders. Not for the first time, I have the urge to massage the rest of the tension away from that body. But I prefer to fight in this mission without the issue of broken bones.

"Seify! What are you doing?"

A dark eyebrow rises at the nickname, the closest to a laugh that the brunette can achieve.

"Give me a break, would ya."

"Hn. She called me Squally."

I stare at him dumbly as he walks off with a relaxed stride. What the hell did he mean by that one?

 

* * *

 

There was perhaps a call from Zell to wait up, but I crash into the TV station anyway, Hyperion gleaming brightly before me. I run further into the main studio room to find our target - President Deling. The politician type man at the podium who is speaking about a sorceress at the moment seems to be a good bet.

"You're mine, Deling!"

Just as I get a good hold on the man, about six soldiers surround us and who knows how many are coming. Well, damn. I knew that a group of them would be around to guard the president, I just didn't imagine that there would be so many. Hoping to find a more defensible spot to fight my way out, I place my blade against Deling's throat and start backing away to the rear exit.

The soldiers follow, but keep a respectable distance as the frightened president demands. I don't really watch where I'm going, soon finding myself in a different room and backing into corner. This isn't good.

A pained cry comes from a soldier as he drops to the ground. Several feet behind him is the whip wielding blonde looking a bit too smug with the easy hit.

"Seifer, let the President go."

I smirk at the command, deciding I'll let the man go after I slice his throat.

_Ah, but he is still important to me. Release him, my boy._

Blinking, I try clear my vision that threatens to darken. Suddenly I notice that the president is crawling away for me, my hold on him loosened at a some unknown point. A brief glance across the room, I discover Quistis lying on the floor injured. What the hell is happening. The energy in the room is all wrong, screwing up my senses.

_You have gotten strong over time. Most impressive. If you desire it, I kan reward your hard work._

...Yes, that's all that I have desire in my life - some kind of proof and reward that my efforts are worth something. That my life is worth something. I can feel her overwhelming power, a force drawing me forward. I don't see a reason to resist.

And then I bump into something. Not realizing my vision had darkened, light and shapes come back to my eyes as I look down into brown hair. Taking a deep breath, I decide I need to slip some better smelling shampoo into Squall's shower. That thought startles me back into reality, and stepping back, I'm surprised to find myself still at the TV station, somehow feeling like I was elsewhere by now.

"How dare you interfere."

I look up at the voice, seeing the darkly dressed woman for the first time. I recognize the tone as the one speaking to me earlier, but instead of allure, I can only sense the hatred and death that drips from each word. My eyes widen as I take in the image of something that should only be a legend, a tale to scare children into bed before nightfall - a Sorceress.

I hear a boot against floor as Squall slides a foot back slowly, preparing himself for battle. Abruptly he dashes forward, a move I might have missed while blinking. He attacks several times, each strike stronger than first and certainly more powerful than anything I have ever seen the smaller man do. My feet are cemented to the ground in awe and shock. The combo finished, he jumps back to examine his opponent. There's a heavy weight in my stomach when I realize that the sorceress is barely damaged from the fearsome attack.

Even so, her golden eyes narrow with piercing venom at Squall. "You have made this...inkonvenient for me."

With perfect grace, she points a hand towards the brunette and he readies for the incoming spell. She grins wickedly at his defensive stance and abruptly redirects her hand and attack to me. I can only watch as white light with a tinge of green evolves from above her head and bursts out towards me. I close my eyes tightly both because of the brightness and the reflexive wince on my part. I wait several heartbeats for the blow, but amazingly, nothing happens.

Carefully opening my eyes, I find Squall standing in front of me in a hunched position, his gunblade held unsteadily before him. Damn reckless bastard.

The Sorceress laughs lightly from her spot, a portal opening to her side. "It makes no difference to me. Him as my knight may be more of a burden than a benefit. However, if you--"

Darkness begins to swirl around Squall as he slowly stands up straight to meditate on the summoning. Faster than I would expected, the GF appears and snarls at the no longer amused Sorceress. Unfortunately before Diablos can launch its attack, she steps quickly but gracefully to escape through her portal.

Unneeded, Diablos disappears into vapor and Squall takes a shaky breath.

The silence too suffocating for me, I speak the first thing to come to my mind. "I thought you were doing things unjunctioned these days."

"I knew I'd need the GFs to face her." Blue light of a healing spell twists around him briefly before slamming into his body.

"Why didn't you warn me?"

"I did."

I scoff at the comment. "A place and time might be more helpful next time, idiot."

His eyes close with a relieved sigh. "You weren't taken this time."

And then he is falling to the ground. Still partially petrified from the earlier events, I almost don't catch the limp brunette. Kneeling, I hold him in my arms for the briefest of moment before, with surprisingly strong hands, Squall shoves at my chest.

"Don't touch me, bastard," he hisses at me.

"Then don't collapse in front of me! What the fuck else was I supposed to do? Let you crack that empty head of yours?"

His struggle doesn't let up, even as he closes his eyes in exhaustion. "Just let me rest a moment."

"Fine." I let him drop flat onto his back, and I pretend not to see the wince of pain when his head hits ground. "You do realize however this isn't the spot for a nap."

A soft moan reminds me of the other person in the room before she asks, "What happened?"

"Morning, Quisty. You missed quite the show."

"Seifer..." Blue eyes widen. "The President. You didn't..."

"That's right, I didn't. The chicken ran off when the evil witch made her appearance."

There's a loud intake of air. "Squall!? Is he okay?"

Before I can reply, the brunette in question rises quickly to a sitting position, soon after regaining his footing. I look up at him, not quite believing the show of strength he is giving us. Those eyes aren't as clear as they should be.

"We need to regroup. Might as well head for Galbadia Garden now."

"Now?" Quistis pushes her glasses up her nose. "The station should be covered by soldiers. Wouldn't a safe place to wait the night out be the better option?"

"We will fight through."

"Squall, you have to learn some patience."

I stand up and place my blade comfortably on my shoulder. "Quisty, just shut up and listen to the man."

She glares at me with a professor's air, acting like she knows more than a person she has a few months on in age. Quistis may have the better performance according to SeeDs tests, but she doesn't have too much practical knowledge. Certainly not about Squall. I can tell by his slightly twitching foot that he wants desperately out of this place and as far as he can get. With a smile, I wonder vainly if he is afraid of the sorceress's reappearance and a second chance at her getting me. Hyne knows I can't defend myself from her, and Squall isn't in too good of shape at the moment. Physically he's probably perfect, but I don't trust what's happening behind those walls of his.

"We leave now." The commanding inflection leaves no room for argument.

 

* * *

 

Reaching the end of the guest wing, I don't bother knocking at the door and simply punch in the code for the doubles room. It was a rushed trip to Galbadia Garden, all of us dead on our feet by the time we got here. Through Quistis's connection with the headmaster, we were able to get several spare rooms with some of us forced to double up. I'm not one to argue good fortune. Squall headed here earlier while I was occupied with escaping from Rinoa. I really should get around to dumping that girl... maybe after she pays her debts in full.

The door slides open, the sound of running water now clear to my ears. Hmm, I think I suddenly have the urgent need to piss. Squall wouldn't mind my intrusion for such an emergency, and worst case, he doesn't likely have his blade in the shower with him. I walk to the bathroom with light steps and open the unlocked door. The lack of steam is momentarily a surprise, but of course the Ice Prince would like his showers cold. It's amazing he doesn't get sick from the way he treats his body.

Abruptly the water is shut off. "Get the fuck out of here."

I smirk at the phantom form behind rippled glass. "I have to piss."

"You can wait five minutes."

"Then how about I'm dying for intelligent company?"

"And you consider _this_ a good time?"

That makes me smile even wider. "Actually, this appears to be the perfect time. I believe we have a discussion to finish up."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Don't give me that bullshit. There's plenty you have to tell me, but you don't want to. Why is that exactly?"

I hear him take a deep breath. "Give me a towel."

"My, how shy our Princess is. I've seen you naked enough times, Leonhart. Get your own towel."

He doesn't speak to me, goosebumps probably covering that lightly colored skin of his. Waiting for him to make some kind of decision, I lean back against the sink and imagine of how I'd like to warm the beauty up if given the chance. Funny how most of my fantasies about him aren't necessarily erotic. Sure, I've had plenty of wet dreams and masturbating moments with the clueless brunette, but for the most part I just want to touch him, to hold him tightly against my own skin.

I'm startled from my daze by the shower door sliding open harshly, glass shuddering from the impact. Belying the uncommon display of anger, his eyes are stone cold as he meets my amused gaze. Looking further down, my smile fades as I once again set my eyes on the numerous scars that marred his body. I wonder how many of them nearly took his life. Reaching thus far unseen territory, I stand up in slowly growing horror.

"What the fuck..."

"Don't recognize your initials, Almasy?"

Something yells in me to look away, but I can't move my gaze from him. Along his ever so normal penis were ragged scars in the letters "SA". Examining the body before me more closely, I notice the lines of circular scars around his wrists and ankles. Once again I meet up with his blue-gray eyes, but find nothing there except his practiced neutral expression.

"The towels are behind you."

"What did I do to you?"

"That was an order."

"Fuck your order and the bet! What in Hyne's name did I do to you?"

"It doesn't matter."

My anger driving me forward before I could consider the action, I press him back against the wall with his arms pinned to the side. I almost don't notice the shutter of revulsion from him before his mask slips back into place. The rage within me drains instantly, but I don't move back. I know the brunette can talk when he is confronted, but it requires an experienced hand. Who knows him better than me?

"Squall..." His eyes open slightly at the quiet call of his first name. "I did something to terrible you, and I need to know what. Please, tell me."

He turns his head to the side, refusing to meet my eyes. I don't move or speak as I play his waiting game. Considering the fact that I'm not on the ground with internal injuries at the moment signals to me that he will talk, but only if I'm patient enough. Meanwhile, I listen to the rhythmic drops of water fall from the showerhead onto tiled floor.

"We were on the mission to assassinate the Sorceress Edea and failed," Squall reveals quietly, as if afraid of raising the wrong ghosts. "Most of us were captured and I was separated from the group for questioning. You were there. You wanted to know the true purpose of SeeDs. I didn't know what it was at the time, but you continued to torture me anyway. Then at some point you asked if I hated you."

Squall stops there, perhaps hoping I'd say something to break the moment. But I know better and force him to continue with my silence.

"I... I said that I had no reason to hate you, but you didn't believe it and punched me in my wounded shoulder. You asked again and again. Dazed, I unintentionally told you... I stupidly admitted I loved you." Stormy eyes narrow a touch. "You laughed and mocked me, and at some point, you started rubbing your hand on me. Despite your words and intention, it was you - I couldn't stop from reacting. You took that as a sign to place your mark on me--"

" _Enough_."

He obeys the quiet command, looking much like he just told me about the weather instead of pure cruelty.

I lean forward to place my forehead on the wall behind him, my cheek brushing against wet hair. "Did I...?"

"I don't know how many times."

I have never felt such hurt before in my life. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Squall was supposed to live a generally normal life without ever knowing how much I wanted this body, this man. It didn't matter as long as he was at peace. But instead I only brought harm to him, and he still doesn't know my feelings for him that went along with desire, if he even considers the rape a form of desire. Curiously, I can't decide if it is causing the physical injuries or laughing at his emotions that pains me the most.

"So, you love me?" I ask, my thoughts selfishly returning to that part of the story.

"... I loved you."

I smile weakly. "There's some of that left, right? Saving my life and all."

"It was my fault the first time."

I suppress a cynical laugh at that one. Leave it to Squall to blame himself for not being perfect enough to save everyone, even an asshole like myself. But I hope that he is simply trying to find reason within his somewhat illogical actions. Hell, he considered killing himself rather than fighting a war against me a second time despite everything I did.

It's too overwhelming at the moment, learning both the pain I caused and Squall's fading love for me, a love I never knew existed. I need time to find a way to salvage anything that is left in him. That, and I need the coward's way out for now.

"Squall, I'm sorry." I release my grip on him and place a hand in front of his face to cast sleep.

"Bastard..." Hesitantly he grows limp against me, but unjuctured he can't resist the spell.

I lift him into my arms, noticing he is much lighter than the time I carried him after the duel when we exchanged scars. I have to show this boy how to eat properly. Gently I place him into bed and cover the naked form. My hand spread, I lightly trace the body under the sheets with my finger tips, the hidden scars already burned into my memory.

No matter what it takes, I will win him back before the opportunity is gone. I laugh lightly at the thought. Squall might think this is his second chance to correct the mistakes of his past, but I believe this is actually my second chance to repent for sins I would have committed. Brushing stray locks of hair from his face, I wonder if Squall is not only here to save my life, but perhaps my soul as well.

 

{Continued}


	3. Chapter 3

|Squall|

It's been at least ten minutes since I woke up, but I can't bring myself to leave the bed, childishly believing that everything is okay in the world as long as you stay under the covers. At least for the first time in a long time, I had slept well. Seifer's spell forced me to sleep before I could spend half the night stressing over things I've done wrong and things I have to accomplish the next morning. I was also asleep before I could set the alarm. It could be early morning or late afternoon right now for all I know, and thus far, turning around to look at the clock seems like too much effort.

With a sigh, I finally push sheets away from me and sit up. I can't help looking down at the evidence of torture by Seifer's hand, a marking that isn't simple to ignore or forget. I wasn't going to tell him anything about the things he did, but the bastard just had to corner me and persuade me with his quiet, almost desperate voice. I hope he regrets it now.

Strange how he seemed almost upset that I no longer hold feelings for him, the egotistical asshole. What else could he expect from me? I know he was controlled by the sorceress, and I have already forgiven him for most of the things he did. Just like the rest of us, he is a mercenary thus killing is his job and his life. But I can't forgive him for choosing her over me, for not even attempting to fight whatever spell he was entranced with. And he didn't have to go so far with what he did to me. I guess that just shows he has always hated me more than any other emotion.

It doesn't matter anymore. There is simply nothing left in me. With the first cut he made in my flesh back then, I could hear the sound of something breaking. The shattering was so loud that it blocked out some of the physical pain he caused me, the silence afterwards evidence of it being destroyed and gone. At first I held some kind of denial over it, trying to revive whatever it was through Rinoa, the last woman close to Seifer. I tried too hard over nothing. Now, I just don't give a damn about it.

I take my first steps out of the bed and spend the next few moments stretching tired limbs. Looks like I haven't caught up on the hours of sleep I've missed over the last months. Hopefully this time it won't be such a complicated matter to deal with the Sorceress. Within the week, if things go as planned. Smiling wryly, I wonder why I don't feel too guilty about this.

Dressing in freshly cleaned clothes and equipping Lion Heart, I decide to test out how well Galbadian SeeDs are trained... before this Garden could still be possibly taken over by the sorceress. The door slides open at my approach and I walk into the hallway.

"About time you woke up."

I stop at the sound of the voice, but otherwise don't acknowledge his presence.

"Careful, you might shatter if you get much colder." A hand grips my upper arm. "Come on, I want a talk with you."

I turn sharply and shrug off his hold on me. The harsh words and look I want to give him dies within me at the glance into desolate eyes.

Seifer smiles weakly as he holds up a small cooler. "I packed lunch."

Against better judgement, I follow his silent lead outside of the Garden and into a nearby patch of thin trees, just enough for decent shade. He sits down against a lightly barked tree, him looking rather odd in only his blue vest sans trench coat, and opens the cooler to retrieve some kind of canned soda. Never could stand that sugary liquid.

"Stop the act, Almasy. Get this over with."

The blonde only smiles and tosses a bottle of water at me. "No need to be so eager. Sit down and eat, if you remember how."

I throw the bottle back at him. "I'm out of here."

It was obvious that he would try to stop me, but I didn't expect the minor ice spell directed at my legs. Momentarily frozen in place, I don't have the range of movement needed to properly defend myself from his tackle. With shaky breaths, I try to calm myself while completely covered by the larger body, hands held above my head. It wasn't so bad last night, my only contact with him from his hands gripping my arms. But this is too overwhelming. There is too much of him.

"Damn it, why do you always have to piss me off like this? All I want is to talk civil like, and you..."

"Hyne, get off me." I can't push away the memories with him like this. Please, I don't want to remember this anymore.

"I don't think so. You're not getting away until I get my say in."

< _You aren't going anywhere, Leonhart. Tell me what I what to know._ >

My eyes widen at the echoing voice of the man above me, a shadow of a sneer somehow overlapping the clearer serious line. The blue sky beyond small, round leaves seems to have grown darker in my vision. Why of all the memories, of all the years that the GFs stole from me, why couldn't this small bit of time have been one of them?

"All these years, and I hadn't a clue that you had feelings for me. Fuck, I didn't even know if you were capable of loving someone, let alone me."

< _You love me? What fucking joke!_ >

"I wish I had known. Squall, there's no reason for you to believe this, but I've wanted you for such a long time."

< _What would I want a dick sucking queer for?_ >

"I've wanted everything about you, from your body to your deepest thoughts to those rare words of yours. I've wanted you to be mine."

< _I will take everything that's yours - your information, your fag virginity, and then your life._ >

"I love you."

< _I hate you._ >

"From the depths of my soul, I love you."  
< _From the depths of my soul, I loathe you._ >

I'm trapped between times, paralyzed from any kind of movement. To step backwards means returning to the suffering of torture and futures I can't prevent. Before me has to be an illusionary world that doesn't exist. At the most, Seifer is speaking these words because he feels the guilt of what he technically hasn't even done. Either way, there is pain. The shards of what he broke in the past now stir at his words, cutting me apart inside. I don't want this.

I cringe when the double image of Seifer grips my chin, but only one moves forward slowly without the threatening sneer. There is the soft press of his lips on mine, in itself undemanding and yet I am drawn to him with irresistible force. He breaks the contact and leans back enough that our eyes can meet, his no longer hinted with the shades of venom.

I manage to find my voice. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get your attention."

"You kissed me..."

"Mmm, I know." His smile is teasing, but sea-green eyes are calm with seriousness. "Listen, I don't know for certain, but I think that sorceress bitch somehow twisted me inside... well, the other me... (this damn time thing) Anyhow! I want you, and I think she made it into a darker need for you."

"You said you hated me."

"Never. Haven't you noticed that you're the only one I give a shit about?"

"Rinoa--"

"A live action porn magazine for all I care. Doesn't matter, I dumped her this morning."

"Wha--"

"Squall. Are there any feelings left in you for me?"

"...No."

"Then why save me? Why bother protecting me from the witch?"

"Because... you shouldn't be her lapdog."

He smiles and bends in close to me once more, the barest of space between our lips. "It's okay now. You can love me again. I won't laugh at you or bring you any harm, because you saved me. I'm yours, but only if you still want me."

And then it became my choice to accept or reject him. Bastard. How could he do this to me? I'm just pieces at this point, not even belonging in this time. All I know is that I don't want to hurt anymore. Physical pain I can handle being something that can be driven away with a simple spell. To accept him would subject me to the possibility of that continuing ache once more. An ache that only he has been able to plague upon me. If I rid myself of Seifer, then logically I can never be hurt by him again.

I need Seifer for now, but once I finish this personal mission, I will leave without a second glance. Without a second regret.

"Get. off. of. me."

"Squall--"

"You think this can be solved so easily?"

He lifts up from me, but doesn't release the hold on my wrists. Shifting green eyes examine me closely as if trying to find something within this empty shell of mine. I silently wish him luck. Ignoring the hint of ache crossing those eyes, I push him off the second he releases my hands. He rolls onto his back limply, a strained laugh emitting from him. Confused, I sit up on the ground while watching the man warily.

The odd laughter halts as he looks up through the tree branches. "You are such a fucking liar, Leonhart."

"... ..."

"Just how many times a day do you tell yourself that you don't need anyone? That everything is fine as long as you don't let anyone get too close?"

"... ..." I resist the urge to point out he is the same as me in that regard.

"I've got Fu and Rai, but just who do you have to watch over you?"

I look away, upset at myself for momentarily forgetting the strange duo of his 'posse'. "We all watch each other's backs."

"That's sweet, but I'm not talking about during a fight. Who do you run to when it gets too quiet at night, when stress turns into a physical pressure on your body, or when nothing seems worth it anymore."

Smirking, I decide the blonde must have gotten a harsh blow to the head lately to admit any of this out loud. "Whatever."

It's silent for several heartbeats before he begins again. "Whether you give a shit or not, I would give my life for you."

"Should I be honored?"

"I just... I wish I could be someone you can depend on." He rolls his head towards me, his neutral expression immediately creasing into a look of worried puzzlement as he sits up.

I squint a little, my vision of him not as clear as it should be. Looking down, I find my hands shaking violently along with the rest of me, my body refusing the silent command to be still. Why? Why am I shaking like a child?

"Squall..." Seifer reaches out for me.

I knock the hand away. "How dare you. You rape me and now you want me to _depend_ _on you?_ "

After a second of thought, he smirks at me. "Yep. That's exactly it."

I stare at him incredulously, unable to do anything else. I can't even get these fucking tremors to stop racking my body.

"It's impossible to undo what's been done, but I still want you. I won't, I **can't** give up on that."

A sneer forms easily on my lips. "Trust me, it's simple to do."

"I don't believe you." Light green eyes narrow at me. "Why did you come back to this time, Squall?"

The sudden change in subject makes me reply before considering his reasoning. "The mission didn't work as planned." I place my hands onto my upper arms trying to physically still the increased shaking, or to at least stop myself from falling apart.

Seifer sighs, dramatic and forlorn. "Hn, I guess it's too much to hope that you wanted to give me some kind of second chance."

Before I can confirm his statement, my vision blacks out as if someone hit the switch. My other senses stay functioning a few moments afterwards, enough to tell me I'm falling. My last thought is that I'm lucky to have been sitting down.

* * *

 

_I stumble forward, not certain where I should be going but forward seems as good as anything. Closing my eyes tightly and reopening them, I find myself still in this desolate place with no one in sight. We were supposed to meet at the orphanage, wasn't it? But where is it from here? Why couldn't someone have shown me the way?_

_Exhausted, I fall limply to the ground with a puff of dust. I sit there for who knows how long, trying to remember the faces of my compatriots. Rinoa's image evades me, though I believed she would be the one to take me home. She's the only one I can come close to loving in this broken state. But it's no use, I can't focus on her._

_Something draws my attention from above. A single white feather drifts in front of me, briefly holding my interest as it flutters to my hand. I look up from the feather, my eyes growing wide at the form in front of me - Seifer. He smirks down at me, looking exactly like he did before any of this shit happened. I smile weakly back at him, relieved that someone was able to heal him. Fujin and Raijin must have come back for the asshole._

_"I'm sorry."_

_I frown, not caring for his disheartened tone. "It wasn't your fault."_

_Seifer shakes his head with closed eyes, but then truly smiles at me when eye contact is made once more. "I'm sorry. I always loved you."_

_Slowly he fades before me, the specter gone before I could even think to stand. His image no longer blocking my view, I see a new platform of stone that floats closer. In time I can clearly see the mangled body left there, redness dripping off the small island as blood flows from the numerous deep wounds. Wounds caused by a gunblade._

_The silence is broken by a scream. I can't control the sound escaping from me, the end coming only when I have no voice left. Images of Seifer flood through me, all overlaid by the final sight of him smiling as if he gave a damn about me._

_I hate him. For ever getting close to me. For doing those things to me. For making me kill him._

_I hate him. I hate him. I **hate** him._

_Rolling onto my side and hugging myself tightly, confused as to why I can't stop crying..._

* * *

 

I find myself staring up at a darkened ceiling, my body numb from the dream. I had forgotten. I could feel the hatred for Seifer within me, but didn't realize the primary reason behind it. It seemed obvious why I should hate him, but I had forgotten about his lifeblood on my hands. Hyne, how could I have blocked that from my mind. Then again, with everything that has happened, I have a treasure trove of painful memories to focus on, obsessing on them to avoid the true ache I felt.

"Are you awake?"

I start at the deep voice, not noticing the presence to the side of the small bed. "Seifer..."

"Yeah, it's me. Are you okay? You gave me a bit of a scare earlier."

I turn to face him, the minimal light from the window behind him adding an odd glow to the blonde. "How dare you..."

Seifer blinks at me, confused.

I sit up from the mattress. "How dare you apologize to me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I fucking kill you, and you have the nerve to apologize to me. _Why!?_ "

Understanding starts to dawn in green eyes, but before he speaks I throw a punch at that slightly parted mouth. I don't want to hear his reply, suddenly afraid of it. But either due to my sitting position or lack of concentration, Seifer easily palms the fist before it can cause any damage. Using the extended arm and my momentum, he pulls me into a part defensive hold, part hug as he sits up on the edge of the bed.

"Because I forced you to do it," he breaths into my ear.

"It was my fault. I could've walked away."

"You never walk away. You're a stubborn prick that has to see everything through to the end."

I don't reply to the comment, and amazingly Seifer keeps his tongue after that as well. He only holds onto me, the forcefulness of his embrace reduced to calming hug. Releasing my arm, he moves his freed hand deep into my hair to keep my head against him and under his chin.

He is giving me shelter to cry.

I don't know exactly why the tears are flowing down my cheeks. There were simply too many possible reasons - being forced to relive the worse days of my life, not knowing if I may have to repeat these months for all of eternity, remembering Seifer's death at my hands, the aching void within me from the pain he caused... Whatever the reason, I can't stop crying.

For a long time we are like that, my senses and thoughts dulled to the point of only caring about clutching onto the warmth in front of me. Thus it startles me when it begins to move away. Seifer leans me back to create eye contact, the shade of green reminding me too much of the phantom that had visited me.

"I'm sorry. For everything I've done and that's happened to you, I'm sorry. But now I want you more than ever."

I whisper back to him. "I can't love you."

"No, you don't want to love me. There's a difference." He bends in close to me. "Do you mind that I'm holding you?"

My eyes widen slightly at the realization and I shake my head. For the first time since I woke up at the infirmary, his touch wasn't painful and his closeness entirely unthreatening. I can't think of what changed.

Per his habit, Seifer doesn't give me the proper time to think. Crossing the small distance between us, he kisses just below my eye to sample the moisture that remains there. Bit by bit he travels down my cheek until reaching the corner of my mouth. Suddenly feeling hypersensitive, I sigh quietly at the contact of soft flesh, wanting and afraid of having more. He takes my upper lip gently between his, sucking on it as he pulled back.

"Can't we start from here? Before I had done anything to you. Before you were forced to fight against me."

"I won't forget."

"I'm not asking you to. Hell, you don't even have to love me. But don't you think it's time to rebuild what has been lost? You're getting a second chance here, Squall. Don't waste it dwelling on a past that doesn't exist anymore."

Seifer is right. I know that in my heart and mind, but such things aren't easily done. "Can... you wait for me?"

He smiles at me. "What do you think I've been doing?" When I don't answer, he places a hand into my hair to bring our foreheads together. "I bear your mark, Squally-boy. I belong to you as long as this scar is here."

I scoff at the statement. "Does that mean I belong to you?"

"No, I wanted to keep this scar. You didn't have a choice about any of yours, so they don't count."

The insight stuns me. Of course, Seifer was able to use magic by then like the fireball that nearly toasted me. He would obviously have cure spells as well to use on the deep cut, but instead he let it heal naturally to form a scar. To form my supposed claim on him.

He sighs and moves back from me. "We have a busy day tomorrow. As our great leader, you better get more rest. It didn't look like you were getting decent sleep earlier."

He rises from the bed, about to walk to his own for the night. Without thinking, I grasp onto his wrist to stop him from leaving me. His steps halt at the touch, but I release him before he looks back at me. Smirking, he leans forward to be eye level with me, a hand on the bed to support him. .

"If I swear that no clothing will be removed tonight except in the case of bathroom emergencies, would you want me to stay with you?"

"Just lie down already."

With a chuckle, he obeys the order and lies down on his back as I direct him to. Once he gets comfortable enough on the small bed, I place my head on his chest, the heartbeats quick and strong underneath me. After seeing his corpse in my dream that night, I need this proof of his life to be able to gain some kind of peace. With an odd sense of shyness, his arm wraps around my waist in a testing maneuver. When I don't show discomfort, the hold tightens slightly while a couple fingers rub lazy circles on my stomach underneath the shirt. Despite half my day wasted from sleep, I'm easily lulled into a soothing darkness.

* * *

 

Standing in front of the General's mansion, I study the group in front of me. While it was a major bother, I think the lot of them got some decent experience from wandering that nearby tomb. It helps that I didn't participate in their battles, watching them closely to judge their current levels. Fujin and Raijin stand off to the side with Seifer, the twosome finding their posse leader at the Galbadia Garden and now refuse to desert him. The added glint to Fujin's red eye whenever I catch her glance makes me wonder what stories Seifer has already told his closest friends.

"I'm changing the mission directives. There will be four groups as follows. The sniper group, Irvine and Zell, will be stationed as planned but you fire on my signal - the appearance of Shiva. The gateway team is Quistis and Selphie." I look directly at the blonde knowing her future plans of apologizing to Rinoa for supposedly speaking harsh words to the princess. "This team will _not_ leave its station until that gate is down at the appropriate time. You may endanger the mission otherwise. The third team is Fujin and Raijin who will be backup for Seifer and I, the frontal assault team. Any questions?"

Everyone shifts into a kind of 'ready for battle' stance as a couple shake their heads in reply. It's nice having a team that doesn't question the occasional strange orders that are made. Then again, I think those that witnessed my one-on-one with the Sorceress gained a slightly fearful respect for me.

"Very well. From now until we reconvene here at 1800 you will have time to prepare yourselves and stock up. Use it wisely."

The SeeD soldiers salute with overconfident smiles on their faces. Watching them walk off, I remember how I believed this to be a simple assassination mission myself back then, but at least this time I truly understand how much depends on each stage.

"Irvine. A moment."

He turns at me with a frown and begrudgingly releases his hold on Selphie and Quistis. He saunters over and stands right before me with questioning in his deep blue eyes.

"I'm not going to lie about a lot being on your shoulders tonight, but I know you excel at snipping. Don't worry about anything else tonight besides hitting the target."

At first he appears insulted at the comment, but a relieved smile gradually reveals itself. "Didn't realize our leader had a keen eye. I'll try not to let you down."

"You won't."

Irvine looks at me curiously, then tips his hat as he strides off to rejoin with the ladies of the group. I don't need the cowboy panicking like he did the last time on this mission, and since I won't be there to watch over him, hopefully the brief exchanged eased his worries enough for him to perform under pressure.

"Ya know, ya haven't told us what we're doin' exactly."

I turn around to face the complete DC group, somewhat pleased to see them together and not at my throat. "Fujin, Raijin. As backup, I need you to _not_ get involved with the fight until I call for you specifically. As you will be stationed within the gateway door, it's also your duty to make certain Quistis and Selphie do not interfere, either."

The twosome look at me with uncertain expressions.

"Follow the man's command, or I'll make you pay for it later." Seifer looks directly into my eyes. "Go get ready, you two. I have business with our great leader."

They do a mock SeeD salute, Fujin smirking slightly as they leave in the same direction as the others.

"What do they know?"

"Nothing much. Just that we slept together last night."

"... ..." If he had used those exact words, I'm certain he didn't bother to explain the clothing status of the situation.

"You gotta loosen up, Squally-boy. A good breeze could snap you in two."

'Loosen up' is it? An unusual urge overwhelms me. I stride up to the larger man and wrap an arm around his neck. Gripping his head firmly with my gloved hand, I lean him down enough so that I can kiss him comfortably. Tasting his warmth and flavor, I also focus on the spells within me for the purpose of transferring to Seifer. Before he regains composure and tries to join in with the tongue play, I step back from him with my neutral mask in place.

"Those fire spells should go well with Ifirit."

Hazy green clears as he smiles at me. "I hereby declare that all future trading of spells must be done like that."

"I'll be certain to inform Raijin."

"Or you can finish that kiss of yours."

Instead of replying, I head for the open gate. Seifer mutters something about 'unjustified cruelty' and promptly joins me at my side. Not needing to stock up with any items myself, I head directly for some peace in the local park. Once we step into the shade of trees, Seifer wraps his arms around my chest and forces us to the ground, myself sitting between his legs as he rests back against a tree.

"I want you to know something."

His hold tight around me, I can't do anything but look forward as he talks softly against my neck.

"If I turn on you again, it's okay to kill me."

No, no, no... _"_ Don't say that."

"Just thinking about the things I've done to you sickens me, and I don't want to be forced to watch it while I'm not in control of my body. I bet I was happy when it was all over and I didn't have to hurt you anymore."

"I can't--"

"For me."

I place a gloved hand on his and squeeze gently. "Then I die, too."

He stiffens behind me. "Don't say that kind of shit."

"Then don't turn."

"I'm certainly no stronger then I was in your past. How can I resist her?"

"Remember that you belong to me."

Seifer laughs lightly. "And love will save the world, right? Didn't realize you had such a romantic heart under that ice."

"Stop thinking and focus on the fight."

"You don't have to tell me that one, but I still think you are trusting me too much to have me as your only support."

"Seifer. Shut up."

He complies with my command, setting his mouth to more productive tasks. Light kisses trail along my neck until he pauses at one lower point, some pressure added to the skin. Seifer is marking me again, but for the first time I wanted his branding on me. I could recognize that it wasn't so much a claim on me, but a silent vow that I'm the thing he is fighting for. He has told me once before he doesn't give a damn about the world as long as he gets what he wants, and apparently Seifer always gets what he wants.

* * *

 

The cool healing power of an elixir flows over me while I keep a close eye on the sorceress for weakness. Everything has gone as planned to this point, now the task of bringing down the magical barrier left to Seifer and me. We managed it once, but she formed a new one before I could signal Irvine. This next chance I have to time just right such that Shiva's attack will destroy her barrier as well as alert the gunslinger. But such caution is taking its toll on us.

My deep breaths are echoed by Seifer's as the magic of haste pushes our bodies to the limit. At least the sorceress has focused on attacking me as the larger threat, leaving Seifer relatively out of danger. Holding my blade back, I charge the woman once more. She winces faintly at the standard strike, but I don't miss the suppressed reaction. Waving back Seifer, he performs a defensive spell instead of attacking while I call upon the lovely snow queen.

A mist of tiny ice shards swirl up from the float's surface to form Shiva. Her frozen assault shatters the weakened barrier in addition to throwing the sorceress off guard. She has barely the time to sneer at us before she jerks backward as Irvine makes his mark with perfect aim. The dying sorceress mutters something before dropping to her knees.

Suddenly there is overpowering, dark energy circling the immediate area. Seifer and others nearby drop where they stand, including the dark-haired woman that just couldn't keep herself from 'helping' the trained mercenaries fight. I resist the pull on my life force to maintain consciousness as the determined spirit of Ultimecia searches for a new host body. I almost laugh when I hear Rinoa's shuttering breath at accepting the wandering soul. Seems like some fates can't be changed afterall.

I stumble to the fallen sorceress and kneel by her side slowly, pushing away my dizziness. After curing the deadly bullet wound, I revive Edea with a phoenix down. Waking, she looks up at me with confused light brown eyes, the golden glow gone with the release of the controlling spirit of moments ago.

"It's okay now, Matron. We'll take you to Cid."

She covers her face with a shaky hand. "What have I done?"

"You did nothing. Go ahead and sleep."

Her eyes study me between thin fingers. "Squall...?"

"Shhh. Sleep." I speak the spell along with the word, bringing the woman momentary peace. "Fujin. Raijin. I need you out here."

The thick door opens immediately at the sound of their names, the twosome followed closely by the fuming Quistis and Selphie.

"SEIFER?"

I don't stand at their approach, my already spotty vision threatening to worsen for such an energy consuming movement. "He'll be okay. Listen to me closely. First, Edea is not to be harmed or turned over to anyone but Headmaster Cid. Second, Rinoa is to be taken to Balamb Garden with the rest of us, a guard on her twenty-four hours. Understood?"

Selphie stomps her foot. "Why should we listen to you, keeping us out of the battle like that. Do you think we're weak or something?"

"Sorry, Selphie. Later, I... I will..." I couldn't keep the darkness from my eyes anymore, the promise of rest too overwhelming to resist.

* * *

 

"Are you certain there's nothing you can do, Dr Kadowaki?" Quistis looks worriedly over the unconscious woman. "Everyone else has woken up without problems. Why only Rinoa?"

The experienced doctor simply shakes her head. "I ran tests all day, but it's still a mystery to me. Perhaps a more specialized physician would know at least how to diagnose such a case."

Selphie frowns. "Poor girl. Sure, she got annoying sometimes, but she only wanted to help us out."

I watch the events in the infirmary without words of my own, unable to bring myself to meet anyone's eyes, especially Seifer's. Even so, I feel his gaze on me as he tries his hardest to peer into my thoughts.

"Alright, everyone out. I will be certain to contact you all once something changes." The good doctor shoos the group away, purposely stepping around me. Once the room is cleared, Dr Kadowaki turns to me. "Is it really necessary to have a guard on this girl? Despite her unconscious state, it could cause unneeded stress."

"It is for everyone's protection."

She looks at me with steely eyes, clearly not wanting to accept the vague explanation. Firm on my stance, I don't break the eye contact until she finally gives in with a sigh. "You're one of the few that I could never crack. Very well, the guard stays. However I must insist that Headmaster Cid be informed of the basis for such an action."

I nod in agreement, figuring the older man probably has a good idea about my intentions anyway.

Her talk done, I'm forced out of the infirmary for being too healthy. The door slides behind me while I stare forward at the waiting blonde. He looks up at me, about to ask something, but I turn and head towards the elevator. His echoing steps follow me, but he gratefully doesn't speak up. Soon enough I am unlocking the door to my room, Seifer trailing me closely inside.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up over this. You can't save them all, even if you do have some foresight."

Looking at the bare wall above my bed, I keep my back to him. "I meant it to happen."

"...What?"

"There's really only one way to remove a sorceress as a threat, and that's to seal her away. We tried Time Compression, but it only sent her back into time to possess Matron once again. One of these times, Ultimecia could remember the future and prevent us from defeating her in the same way."

"I don't understand."

"I can't really explain it, but just know that it isn't a reliable method." Forget the fact that I don't want to risk doing this all again. And the chance of finding Seifer's bones in that desolate place again... "Sealing Ultimecia while aware and in control of Matron would have been too difficult. I knew by defeating Ultimecia in a battle, the spirit would seek out a different body, the joining for some reason causing the new host to fall unconscious, thus vulnerable."

"Rinoa."

I nod, but I can't tell him that I also made certain the other women of the group wouldn't be there since the highest probability of things going as plan required replicating my past. It required making Rinoa the sorceress's target. Knowing the dark-haired girl couldn't resist fighting with us, I only had to keep Quistis and Selphie away. The mission was loosely designed for her sacrifice.

"Squall..." His voice is laced with something I'm afraid to identify.

"No need to be surprised. I'm Shiva's Lover. Leonheartless. This is something a cold, calculating monster like myself is expected to do. Just like how I was able to kill you."

"While you're calculating things, just how many lives are you saving with this plan?"

I note how he chooses to ignore the last statement I made. "That's not the point."

"And just what is the point? You haven't told me much about your past, but you have mentioned a war. War means death. A lot of death. Since I haven't seen anything that resembles war, I'm assuming your actions have thus far prevented it. Why are you worrying about one life among the masses?"

"We know her."

"Yes, we do. And I personally believe that if we had asked her, she would be a willing sacrifice in order to save the world."

Funny enough, she had. But by that time it was too late, Ultimecia already released from her body. It was pointless to leave her sealed away when we could better use her by our sides as a healer if nothing else.

His quiet approach unnoticed, Seifer takes my wrist in hand and turns me around to face him. "And I'm ashamed that you think I consider you a heartless monster."

"I believe you came up with the nickname."

He frowns at me. "But I never meant it beyond that frigid bastard persona you like to show everyone."

Before I could think of forming a response, Seifer pulls me against him. Angling my head with his hand, he leans in to kiss me with an edge of forcefulness. Instinctively, I open my mouth to invite his heat into me. The probing tongue both tickles and excites me as he rubs against the roof of my mouth, but it isn't enough. I had to force myself to look apathetically at Rinoa while knowing her fate and my blame, and now it feels like a glacier is driving through my body. I'm hurting. Taking the large hand at my side, I guide him lower without possibility of misinterpretation.

He coughs into the kiss. "Direct, aren't we. Certain that this is what you really want?"

"Seifer, shut up." This isn't about love or companionship, just pure and simple need on my part.

He laughs lightly before kissing the corner of my mouth. "Yes, sir."

Using both hands, it takes Seifer little time to undo the tight pants, nibbling at my earlobe in the mean time. After brief hesitation, he takes my manhood in his grip, the light friction already warming me more than the kisses could alone.

"Undress for me," lust causing a rough edge to his voice.

I resist the whine of protest that he was probably hoping for. Still, it is too cruel of him to expect me to be able to focus on removing the jacket and shirt while he is stroking me like this. The barriers gone, he trails wetness down my neck and along my collarbone until blowing gently into the small dip, making me shiver at the cool airflow against heated skin. He chuckles at the appearance of goosebumps before licking them away for me. All the while, he keeps the same steady, slow rhythm on my length. Still, I need more connection between us.

"Stop... Seifer."

He straightens immediately, green eyes full of uncertainty and regret. "Too fast after all?"

I shake my head. "I want... you on me... with me, but not..." I hate talking in general, and _this_ is certainly nothing easier to talk about for me.

"I think I understand."

He releases his hold, the resulting coldness somewhat painful. It's worse when he clutches the waistband of my pants and pulls them down without warning. My hands on his shoulders to steady myself, I let him completely remove the piece of clothing. He stands back up to eye my naked and excited form, both desire and guilt plain in his expression.

I take the couple of steps backwards to sit down on the bed and lie down. Looking up at the ceiling, I hear the rustle of quickly removed clothing before the mattress sags and Seifer leans up into my vision. I feel him radiating above my body, unquestionably keeping too much distance between us.

I place a hand on his cheek. "I trust you."

His smile is almost childlike in relief as he leans against my touch. Finally he lowers himself on me, his stiffness somewhat surprising against mine. He shifts forward in a testing move, the effect in my vocal opinion a most gratifying one. Encouraged, he continues the stimulation with increasing speed and strength. Though my breath is hitched from panic in addition to the pleasure, I know I truly want this, need this, and only from Seifer. He pushes me closer to ultimate bliss, my hands pressed against his back for a solid anchor. The addition contact from arching into him finishes me, a quiet yell escaping my throat.

Blinking in the dim light, it takes me a moment to realize Seifer stopped moving against me, instead lying mostly to the side with his head resting against my chest.

"You didn't have to stop when I..."

"What makes you think I didn't come?"

"When?"

"I didn't know you were a screamer."

"I don't scream."

"In Squall terms, you screamed. And," he looks up at me with mischievous eyes. "I liked it."

I choose not to respond, enjoying the feel of him brushing a couple of fingers along my softened length. He returns to his previous position and I raise a hand to scratch the short golden strands.

"Thank you," he says in a low voice.

"Shouldn't that be my line?"

"I'm serious here, Leonhart. It must be hard for you to be with me."

"I thought we were starting over. Rebuilding and all of that."

"Phft. Words are one thing. Doing it is another." He kisses a harden nipple. "Do you know how much I love you?"

"Whatever." It should be a rule to never believe such words stated after sexual activities.

Seifer laughs at the overused word of my vocabulary while moving a leg to better lock me in place. I never considered the blonde as the cuddling type before the last few nights, and I still don't. The fool is probably just making certain I don't try to disappear while he is asleep.

"Seifer, we should get cleaned up."

"Why? It's early yet."

"We're leaving before sunrise."

He turns to me with a confused expression. "First I've heard of this."

"I'm taking Rinoa to Esthar, and you... I want you with me."

"Esthar? What the hell is that, and why am I the only privileged one to join you on this journey?"

"Are you going to argue or come with me?"

"Of course I'm coming with you, but I do prefer some kind of reasoning beyond 'because I said so'. Then again, maybe I don't need a reason to follow your lovely ass around."

"Tomorrow, I'll tell you everything."

His eyes widen a bit at that one. "Everything about everything?"

"Everything." There is no longer reason to keep anything from Seifer, the only hesitation on my part left from not wanting someone else to overhear. It's too hard to predict how those of the party would take it, and frankly they don't need to know. Leaving early, I'd have almost a full day to tell Seifer the story before everyone else could catch up.

Seifer smiles widely at me. "Well then, we better get cleaned up. It'll save time if we shower together."

I raise an eyebrow at that. "Save time?"

"Sure, because then we won't make another mess of ourselves in bed." He winks and then rolls off the mattress with renewed energy.

I have the urge to smile while I try to figure out how I was able to resist him so completely only days ago. Maybe I didn't realize how much I would crave his touch on my body, caresses that somehow reach even deeper to my very soul. I give into the pulling at my arm and follow Seifer into the small bathroom. Blaming myself for starting this tonight, I can only hope that the blonde keeps in mind that we'll need some sleep before we head for Esthar by foot. If only the Ragnarok was on hand...

 

{Continued}


	4. Chapter 4

|Seifer|

Within the safety of a tent, I stare down from my kneeling position at the still form of Rinoa. The temptation to wring the delicate neck is just barely held back by the logical thought that it wouldn't really hurt the sorceress inside. It'd probably just set the bitch free to cause terror in this branch of time, just as she had in Squall's.

All day we had walked along the deserted track supposedly towards Esthar, both of us sharing the deadweight burden. It took that long for Squall to tell me everything that had happened in a detailed, but not so flowery account. He knew the numbers, oh so many numbers - the days of travel relying on potions instead of sleep, the people that died by his hand, the years of our childhood we had forgotten, the people that died from 'Lunar Cry', the cities destroyed by armies and monsters, and of course the people dead by my command. It was too much for my feeble mind to handle, and yet it kept coming out of his mouth.

I'm such an arrogant asshole. I tell the man to start over and rebuild his life without knowing myself that there's practically nothing left of him to even create the foundation. He's wearing himself thin, dangerously close to the breaking point. What else could be expected of a man who went through hell to save humanity and his reward is to do it all over again. What was Cid thinking to send inexperienced SeeD on a mission like that? I want to help Squall somehow, but I wonder if my presence is more like a boulder on thin ice, only aiding in bringing the final break.

Brushing away a stray lock of dark hair from her face, I sneer at Rinoa. The slut. From the beginning, I told her all about Squall and our rivalry. How dare she taint him with her touch when I wasn't around. I wonder if she felt it some kind of punishment aimed at me for being drawn to the wrong side. I've got to feel for poor Squally-boy. She is just too happy-go-lucky for that dour guy.

Suddenly I'm staring into golden eyes narrowed in irritation. I fall back as if burned, trying to crawl backwards from her and create some kind of distance. With unnatural grace, Rinoa rises from the ground and turns to sneer at me.

"How lovely to meet you again, my Knight."

Quickly regaining composure, I get up to one knee and return her glare. "Fuck off. I don't belong to anyone."

"Oh? But akkording to that horrid boy, you were my most loyal follower."

"You heard?"

"Of kourse, child. I am not deaf. Kome, and take your place by my side as you should."

"No. I want nothing to do with you." I hide my fear at the sudden realization that I can't move from this worthless kneeling position. The bitch, she must be somehow drawing out my strength.

"But I kan give you what you desire. The boy, he kan be yours." She strides towards me, her noxious voice echoing within me.

In reply I manage to cast Thundra despite the gradually increasing feel that my head is being squeezed in the mouth of a T-rexaur. The possessed girl absorbs the strike without a flinch or mark to prove I had caused any kind of damage. Well, isn't this just dandy.

"You only hurt yourself by resisting. Kome. Don't deny your love and your master." She holds her hand out in front of me, bare inches from my face with the promise of ending the pain that she is causing me.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Sweet Hyne, why can't I at least stand and escape?

There is the sound of a gunshot just before the girl clutches her neck. She plucks something from there, looking at the object with wavering eyes. With the mutter of "Kurses", she slumps to the ground in regained unconsciousness.

My energy exhausted, I fall forward onto my hands. Shuttering and coughing, I'm mildly surprised when I end up puking onto the tent floor. Heaving in the attempt of getting a cleansing breath, I notice the appearance of two dark boots to my side. After a brief halt there, Squall goes to the fallen girl, lifts her into his arms, and exits the tent without a word to me.

I dig my nails into the fabric below, trying to ignore the hurt running through me. Squall hates me. I know I haven't come close to regaining that lost love he once had for me, that he is only using me as some kind of physical support, but I still held the hope we were on the right path. And now I almost rejoin the sorceress yet again. I'm so fucking weak!

Coldness at my neck startles me from self pity. I look up at the brunette as he holds out a fresh canteen of water. "To rinse out your mouth."

I stand up shakily, and take the small container from him. "You've got to be tired of saving my ass by now." I smile weakly.

He shrugs and turns to stride outside. Following him, I take a gulp of the water and start cleaning out the acidic remains of lunch from my mouth. Spitting out the foul liquid, I look up to see that Squall had already setup a new tent. Smart. No sense cleaning up that mess when we have tents to spare. I stop several meters from the entrance, tempted to just spend the night outside to avoid being trapped in close quarters with the brunette. Noticing my hesitation, Squall looks over his shoulder at me and then steps inside. Amazing how that boy can order people around with a mere glance.

I slump into one of the corners far from Rinoa, feeling a bit peevish with the words 'why does all the shit have to happen to me?' running through my head. I briefly notice his shadow drop over me before Squall sinks down to kneel between my bent legs. A cool hand brushes against my cheek and moves to the back of my neck. After a glance into darkened blue-gray orbs, I close my eyes as he leans forward to kiss the scar he gave me.

"You...belong...to me," he states with the intermittent feel of moist warmth on my forehead.

"Squall..." He places two fingers on my lips.

"You fought her control."

"And nearly lost to her," I mumble against his fingers. I know our last battle with the sorceress doesn't count. She was too busy defending herself to be bothered with trying to take over my mind.

"But, you fought."

I dare a look into those stormy blues, my breath halting at the sight before me. It's just a bare spark in the depths, but I can clearly see the hint of emotion escaping his barriers. It could be love, pity, amusement - I don't care. It's _something_. Not the hatred or apathy directed my way in the attempt to wound or drive me away, but something real. Something that more could be built on. And all it took was possible mental damage at the hand of a sorceress. I can handle that.

I wrap my arms around Squall and pull him close to me. After a heartbeat of stiff resistance, he relaxes fully against my body while clutching onto my shirt front. It's strange holding him like this. Such a small frame, almost petite within my embrace and yet I know of his strength in body and will. I wonder what he would have become if not a fighter. No, I wouldn't have met him that were the case, despite the orphanage that I can only vaguely remember. Better not to think of such things.

A long time we are like this, holding onto each other without words. This is right. I don't care what else it takes to get him since I know this is right between us.

He pushes away as far as I'll let him. "Get sleep. I'll take first watch."

I scowl at him. "Let me guess. First watch goes from now until we leave in the morning."

"I'm used to traveling without sleep."

"That doesn't mean it's okay. Bodies weren't made to live on potions alone."

"I got too much sleep yesterday."

"You know, you could just say straight out that you don't trust me."

"I do, but I doubt sleep will come for me tonight."

Ah, of course. So close and yet so far from ending this nightmare of his. I'd be afraid of sleeping myself in such a situation, afraid of waking to find myself back at the beginning. While I don't agree in the least about his methods, I do understand his unspoken fears.

"Fine, then you're my pillow."

His eyes scrunch in confusion. "What?"

"This tent wards off monsters, so no need to worry about roaming the perimeter or anything. It's only our possessed princess you have to keep an eye on, and you can do that sitting down. Thus, your lap is mine tonight."

He looks at me incredulously, to which I reply with a wide grin. We hold our stances like that for a few moments until he sighs in defeat. While he backs up to get comfortable against a sturdy pole, I quickly remove my stiff trench coat and move padding around to better suit my new sleeping position. I feel like a kid as I lie on my back with my head on his thighs, but it's the best way to make certain he wakes me immediately if there's trouble. And I can't deny the need to be touching him at this moment as well.

* * *

 

"Yo, Squall. What are you doing?"

"Can't you tell, Chicken? It's a cliché mime act, except he's in a _really_ large box."

The brunette in question doesn't even spare me a frown at the comment while he walks along the edge of the cliff with his hands feeling along empty space. With a hop, I get Rinoa into a better position on my back though she'll just be sliding down in another minute. While it makes me a little uncomfortable to be so close to her, Squall holds some kind of faith in the tranquilizer he gave the girl. And supposedly we are close to this mythical city... where it could be in this expanse of wasteland, I haven't a clue.

As Squall had predicted, the kiddos joined up with us late this morning, all of them worried about our silent leader leaving without word. Quisty of course couldn't resist a condemning glance my way when we first met up, but I'm rather used to it being the typical bad guy in situations. Anyhow, I got some satisfaction when Fu returned the glare with added intensity from her red eye and that was the end of that.

There's a loud gasp of 'sweet' that makes me return my attention to Squall. Before him is some kind of doorway with a ladder leading nowhere. Well damn, I have to remember that trick. Before Squall places a hand on the first wrung, he's pulled aside by whip wielding blonde.

"How do you know of this, Squall?"

He scowls at her. "I just do. We don't have time to waste."

"You completely change a mission on us the morning before and Rinoa ends up unconscious. Then we discover you walking an unused track towards this desert of the continent, and you just happen to know of where this... this doorway would be. What is the meaning of this? It's like we don't know you anymore."

I can't help a bark of laughter. "Quisty, you never knew Squally-boy here."

"Still--"

"I don't know about you kiddos, but I'd rather save this for once we get out of this monster infested area."

"He has a point, Quistis." I look over to Selphie who was currently riding on the cowboy's back, apparently deciding Rinoa shouldn't be the only one to get such treatment. Strange girl.

Blondie frowns but nods her okay to wait.

A short time later, all of us except the two brunettes are reeling from the intense rollercoaster ride. Selphie cheers that we should do it again while Squall takes the deadweight from me since it is doubtful I could walk steadily on my own, forget with Rinoa sliding limply everywhere. Following our leader, he guides us through this amazing city of Esthar. Now why would a futuristic city like this be afraid of showing itself. Damn, it could probably just take over the whole world if they felt like it.

We reach a large building, Squall approaching the guard. "We require a meeting with the president. It's urgent."

The man looks warily at us, our non-Estharian clothing and weapons certainly giving the guard enough reason to deny us passage. At least he doesn't reach for his own weapon.

"Tell him we are friends of Ellone."

After a stare down between the two, our Ice Prince easily wins and the guard motions to another person to give the president his message. I notice the rest of our group resisting the urge to question Squall about 'Ellone', myself the only one knowing the truth of his statement. Curious that their dreams haven't gotten that far into the past yet, but then again with Squall speeding up this epic story, maybe Sis hasn't been able to keep pace with us.

From the doorway, a robed figure glides towards us, or more specifically to our mighty leader. Despite that ridiculous hood of his, I can feel piercing eyes examining all of us and then focusing on Squall who still has the unconscious girl on his back. I can't decide if the guy is being condescending or careful with the look over. Without a word, he nods and then turns back to the entrance after the supposed invitation inside.

We are led directly to a waiting room, the kiddies practically speaking out at the same time once the door closes on us. Whether because of her presence or instructor status, Quisty manages to silence everyone.

She frowns at the sitting brunette. "We're all confused and worried here, Squall. Talk to us."

He looks at the floor. "It doesn't matter now. My role will end here."

Before Blondie can start into some kind of rant, I place booted feet onto the coffee table with a satisfying thump. "Quisty, Quisty, Quisty. You should know better than to try and get water out of that stone. He's got his ways. Just go with the flow."

"And you! How can you simply follow his vague lead when you've never been able to obey a clear cut order?"

"He has a nicer ass to follow than my previous commanders."

Well, that got the girl to shut her mouth, redness adding a charming quality to her tight instructor appearance. In the background Selphie giggles fiercely to Zell's louder laughter. Squall didn't even twitch while lost in that inner realm of his. A shame that one - I'd like to get that boy to blush at least once in his lifetime.

Before I could have more fun with Quisty, we are once again visited by our robed guide who directs us to another room on a higher floor. Damn these elevators. It's too tempting to push Chicken from the platform that appears to have no walls.

Once we walk into the bare room, half of our group stops in shock at the sight of the Estharian president while the brunette sets down his burdensome load into a chair. For the first time I have a real good taste of what Squall has been feeling since waking up in the infirmary that day. While he probably finds it irritating, I like the hint of power that comes along with knowing the future, as well as the capacity to really piss off people.

"Sir Laguna!" Selphie squeals from the background.

Looking at the long haired man stand up from behind the desk, I decide Squall was right in his description. This guy has pathetic written all over him. How in the world does a guy like him get the position of president to a supposedly intellectual society like this? He doesn't even dress like a man of his high ranking position.

He smiles nervously at us, a hand scratching the back of his head. "Hello all of you. It was mentioned you had to meet with me about something urgent."

"A sorceress resides in this girl. She needs to be sealed."

Instantly, the president straightens at Squall's demand. "Simply because she is a sorceress--"

"She will bring the Third Sorceress War if you do not act."

Loire pauses in thought. "May I ask your name?"

For whatever reason, our fearless leader smirks. "Squall Leonhart."

Green eyes widen and then quickly narrow in thought. "And how do you know what this sorceress is planning?"

"I do."

Loire sighs as he sits on the edge of the desk. "I can't seal a girl just because someone yells out 'Witch'. It could cause panic. I need some kind of proof beyond your word."

"Whatever. Let her destroy this city with the 'Lunar Cry' if you wish." Squall turns to the exit, giving me a good look at his false strength hiding the true emotion beneath as he strides away from the president.

"Wait." At the command, Squall stops but doesn't turn. "You must be tired from your journey here. Perhaps a night of rest and we can further discuss this."

I can almost hear the battle just beyond stormy eyes. He wants to run from here, never again to do something considered 'heroic' in his remaining lifetime. But the fool just isn't programmed to leave things unfinished. Still not facing the president, Squall nods his assent.

"Great. Kiros, could you get someone to show these kids to some rooms for the night?"

Removing his hood, the dark skinned man bows to Loire. "I will do so personally."

Raising a hand to the door, Kiros leads us out. I almost follow but notice our might leader wasn't joining the rest of us as if trapped into place. The dark man looks at me with a questioning glance, but I shake my head and nod towards Squall. I don't feel like leaving the man behind. The door closes behind him with four men and one unconscious sorceress left in the room.

"Um, is there something else? We'll watch over the girl tonight if that has you worried."

"I've been tranquilizing her. Ultimecia has already waken once."

"Ultimecia? Is that the sorceress?"

"... ..."

"Ah, well, we can get to that tomorrow. Thank you for the word of warning."

Squall's mouth opens as if to speak, but he closes it without sound and shakes his head. He doesn't meet my confused look as he strides from the room, myself hurrying after him. Without difficulty he makes it to the sleeping quarters of the building, Kiros just about to leave the wing of rooms. He points out the two rooms left for us, and I nod while resisting the comment that only one should be needed.

I join Squall in his room without bothering to wait or ask for an invitation inside.

"Get out, Seifer."

"Request noted and denied." I smirk at his back while locking the door behind me.

"Never could follow a damn order," he mutters quietly.

A few long strides and I'm at his back with arms around his chest and my chin resting on his shoulder. I don't dare ask what's wrong, knowing full well that the question would only make him clam up instead. And so I wait silently while savoring my hold on him that he has yet to declare as unwanted.

"I can't do this again."

"No one said you had to."

"What if he decides to try the Time Compression again?"

"There's no reason for him to."

"I can't do it."

"You're repeating yourself, Squally-boy."

"You... could still be there."

"What do you mean?"

He hesitates, then takes a shaky breath. "There was this place I was trapped in after the Time Compression. I found your body... there was so much blood, dripping into space. I killed you. I'm sorry. You apologized to me then, but I should have been the one--"

I hug him close to stop his rambling and the feel of quivering beneath my arms. For a split second I'm angry at him for not telling me everything as he had promised, but his reaction while speaking of it cancels out the slight feeling of betrayal. Though I have to wonder how much of what he is saying is truth and hallucination, since how could I apologize after dying. But that could wait until never from my point of view if it hurts him this much inside.

"I'm here, Squall. Focus on me, alive and close to you."

"But--"

"No. Forget the past and future for moment, would you? You'll only drive yourself crazy that way."

He slumps back against me, relying on my embrace to keep him standing. "I think I already am."

"That would explain how you could love a guy like me."

He stiffens in my grasp and I mentally kick myself in the head. _'Had_ loved a guy like me' is what I should've said. _Had_. I really need to take a clue from Squall and maybe actually think about what I want to say rather than letting it spew out of my mouth like that. I almost release my hold on him, but his hand hanging on my arm stops me.

"Guess so."

I blink a bit before forming a reply. "Call me a pessimist, but could you clarify that a bit for a desperate man?"

He turns in my loosened hold to face me while his arms encircle my neck. "Care to show me just how alive you are?"

Why must temptation be so sweet? "You do realize the kiddies will hear us and probably break down the door to stop the fight they'd be expecting."

"Then you better find creative ways to keep me silent." He blanches a little once he realizes what could be implied from the sentence. I resist a smile at the insight that he doesn't always think before speaking after all.

"Nah, I think it'd be more fun watching you try to hold back." I kiss the corner of his mouth while running a hand up the back of his shirt. "The second you say stop, I will."

He sighs as he presses back into my hand. "I know."

Taking advantage of the parted mouth, I start a most enjoyable duel with the gunblade master. The contrast of the heat on my tongue and the cool skin at my fingertips makes me want to drive all of the coldness from the delectable brunette. He moves against me sharply when I accidentally tickle him in the side, the effect worth a couple more prods at the sensitive spot despite the chance of his irritation. As expected, he pulls back with a glare telling me to be good and removes his jacket.

Practically ripping off my trench coat, I throw it to the side of the bed and rid myself of the vest before tackling Squall to the mattress, preventing him from touching those tight pants of his. I smile down the couple of inches at his face, annoyance clear in his blue-gray eyes.

"Remember. Shhh..."

My lips puckered from the shush, I start with a kiss just under his earlobe, gradually trailing forward to gently bite his small Adam's apple. He groans quietly, his cool hands placed onto my bare back. I go straight down from there, then angle to a darkened nipple just asking for attention. Tonguing the tight sensitive skin, I run my hands along his side at a slow pace, letting my thumbs follow along his ribs. Once reaching the bothersome belt guarded pants, I have to lean up for the challenge of unlocking him from the barriers.

Three belts later and I'm pulling the soft leather pants down his legs with cruel slowness, smirking as Squall covers his flushed face with an arm. Moving between his legs, I raise one over my shoulder as I lower for a sample kiss of his stiff length.

"Seifer...!"

Not hearing a keyword to actually stop, I take the head of his cock into my mouth and roll my tongue around the soft skin. I try to avoid it, but my eyes are appallingly attracted to my initials scarred there. How can I be both proud and horrified at that claim on him. At the sound of muffled moans, I look up at Squall's vain attempt to cover his mouth with his arm. Knowing he'd probably end up wounding himself if I take the blow job all the way, I pleasure his manhood until a slight salty flavor runs across my tongue. The whine that escapes him concerning my withdraw is pure bliss.

"What now, lovely? More of this," I lick the throbbing vein on the underside of his penis. "A hand job, a cold shower, or perhaps a request from the audience."

He pants a little before swallowing. "I'm ready."

I frown at him. "If you say so, but I don't think I am."

He lowers his arm, stormy eyes swirling with uncertainty. "Sorry, should I--"

"Idiot. Do you think I want to hurt you again?"

"So don't, but I still want you in me."

"You are a bad influence. Here I am trying my hardest to--"

"Seifer, just fuck me already."

"Now, I think that's one order I can follow." I lean over the side of the bed to pull a tube out of a hidden pocket of my trench coat. Squall arches an eyebrow at the sight of the lube. "Like any other SeeD cadet, I'm always prepared."

After prepping him and myself to give Squall plenty of time to voice second thoughts, I bend his legs forward. My nervousness flies from me when I meet his passion darkened blue-gray eyes, a coy smile on his lips to urge me to continue. With a sharp but small thrust forward, I break through his tiny entrance. He winces in pain, but again he doesn't tell me anything as I slip deeper into sweet tightness. As far as I dare go for the moment, I lean over him and kiss along his collarbone while he gets accustomed to the feel... hell, so I could get used to finally finding a way inside of this man.

"Hyne, do something," he pants at me.

I chuckle at the plead. "Yes, sir."

In a testing move, I shift my hips back slowly and then return to the all encompassing heat of Squall faster than I had intended. A whimpering breath from the brunette makes me freeze in conflict with treating him right and really not wanting to break the solid connection between us. I jump a bit when his arms encircle my neck and he pulls himself up from the mattress.

"Why do I have to be so fucking noisy with you," he mutters against my shoulder.

Taking it as a sign to finish this off, I rock in and out of the hidden warmth of Squall at a steady pace. He presses his mouth against my skin, the feel of muffled cries making me smile in both amusement and desire. Of course, the temptation to make him yell out clearly into the small room was just barely outweighed by the fact that he'd kill me for it later.

Some time after infinity, Squall bites deeply into me as the feel of warmth spreads over my stomach. The combination of mild pain and the tightness of his two holds on me brings white shattering light to my vision as I come within him. With just enough energy left to carefully rest him back onto the mattress, I lie on top of Squall counting on the fact he is stronger than he looks.

Once our breaths begin to steady, I feel his hand move along my back towards the wounded shoulder.

"Don't you dare cure it."

"But it's bleeding."

I get up onto my forearms to look down at him. "And you'd deny me a lovely memento of our first time... _my_ first time with you."

"Hopeless." He tries to hide from my view, but I catch the hint of redness on his cheeks despite the attempt. Such simple loveliness.

* * *

 

Inside the Sorceress Memorial Hall, I stand a couple steps to the side of Squall on the large platform as we watch the sealing process of Rinoa and the witch Ultimecia within her. Against the brunette's fears, the idiot with the presidential title agreed after a general overview that Time Compression seemed too unreliable to use once again, especially with only Squall currently experienced enough to battle the fearsome power of the sorceress. More so, the lives that would potentially be lost in the process were simply too staggering to even consider, particularly with the high percentage of civilian casualties.

The rest of the kiddies are rather uncomfortable with the sacrifice of the young woman and Squall's apparent apathy over the event to even seen Rinoa on her way to eternal slumber. They obviously don't know the stoic lion well enough. He watches the strange bubble fill with a mysterious gas, the wish that it was him in there clear on his face. I want to hug him close to me, not only for him but for my own need as well. Like Squall, I can tell myself this is necessary but it hurts to see her in there, trapped for a lifetime without knowing the reason why.

Surprisingly Rinoa pulls herself up with aid of the transparent wall. She looks at me, dark doe eyes filled with fear and confusion. Soft lips mouth 'Seifer' before I turn away from the sight of her and back to Squall. His stormy eyes narrow firmness, unafraid to stare directly into the face of the dark-haired girl that was his support when I wasn't around. Depending on that strength, I look back at her to witness this final event.

For several painful moments we watch her, the increasing gas slowly wrapping around her. Our final vision is of narrowed golden eyes glowing through the light mist.

Squall's quiet whisper just barely registers in my hearing despite the machinery. "I hope your dreams are full of fairy tales."

I bow my head in agreement. Such would be the best for the lovely princess, especially since I doubt the knight she desires and needs exists anywhere beyond those fantasies she loved.

With nothing more to do, we leave the solitary building and get into the car Laguna loaned us to drive out here, the man seeming oddly overeager to help us out this morning. The scenery is a dull one as I drive back to Esthar, the moment of silence too tense for me to consider turning on the radio. Only the lack of a road causing a bumpy ride keeps me from dozing too badly at the wheel. Not like there are other cars to ram into.

"Nn... Seifer..."

I look to the passenger side at Squall, not realizing that he had fallen asleep. He has a small, lopsided grin on his face as he shifts a bit to get more comfortable in the seat. The temptation to stop the car, pull out a tent, and curl up with the brunette is overridden by the issue that the others would be looking for us if we don't return by sunset. Grumbling at the inconvenience, I wonder briefly about how things will play out from here, if Squall will desire to remain a SeeD or decide to leave the mercenary life. And of course there's the little matter of our relationship, about whether to make it public, or if it'll even continue now that he technically doesn't really need me for support anymore...

With a sigh, I decide to not think about it. I can leave the worrying to the master and then follow his lead. Of course, every now and again I'll have to drag Squall out of that internal world of his, which certainly could be a pleasurable experience for us both. Possibilities flying though my head, I add a little more pressure to the gas pedal in hopes our night together will start a bit early today.

 

{Game Over... until I think of a better ending. Mwahahaha!... *sigh*}


	5. Chapter 5

** Epilogue **

|Squall|

Spreading my arms out wide, the book I had been reading before falling asleep slides from my chest onto the floor with a sharp noise for just after waking. A quick glance around the cabin from the view point of the couch, I notice Seifer hasn't returned yet from outside since he typically ends up staring at me while I sleep. Standing up, I stretch out my stiff back while taking a deep breath, grinning afterwards at the remaining smell of a pie he decided to bake with the berries we found yesterday. Only Seifer could make a simple pie an erotic tool. 

I walk out the back door towards the dock to find the missing blonde. Silently I approach the well used area, stopping once he comes into view. Sitting on the edge of the dock with his back against a post, he looks intently at the darkening lake. The sun just touching the mountain peaks, an orange tinted light shines on Seifer and reflects off the white sleeveless shirt in a sort of glow. Like several times before, I'm almost afraid to walk close to him, close enough to touch. Every time I wonder if this is the instant when Seifer will vanish before my eyes.

Suddenly Seifer straightens and turns to look at me with light green eyes. A lopsided smile is the only invitation I need to finally approach and stand on the other corner of the small pier from him.

"What are you doing?"

He sneers at me while pointing at the fishing pole. "Isn't it just a bit obvious?"

"Hnnn, I thought there'd actually be fish involved with fishing."

"Oh, such the comedian. Really, I'm hurt." He pouts at me, something that took me months to become immune to.

"Maybe it's the bait."

"Bait?"

I place a hand to my temple. "Please tell me you have been using bait."

He smiles. "Of course, dimwit. Check for yourself if you'd like."

I take the offered pole and reel in the line. The lake not so deep, it's a short moment before glinting metal is swinging towards me on the fishing line. "Seifer, there's nothing--" In an instant breathing becomes a foreign concept when I get a better view of the metal - a golden ring. "What?"

He stands up behind me, wrapping his bare arms around my body to grasp the swaying ring. "I know you can't be that dense. Do you want me on my knees for you that badly?"

I grin. "No. You'd just end up ruining this."

He scoffs. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

My left hand lifted, he places the water cooled ring onto the fourth finger. Looking at it closely, I can see a cross lightly etched into the gold, replicating the one he bares on his well worn trench coat. With a smile I think he's an egotistical bastard to be claiming me like this, as if I was a new land placed under his flag.

"So, feel like taking me along with that ring?"

I frown at being unprepared for this. "Seifer, would it be... cheap of me to offer this in return?" I remove my ring of Griever and hold it in my palm in front of us. "It'd have to be resized if you want it."

"Like hell." He releases my waist and steps back from me. Hurt, I turn around to face him, finding him unclasping his necklace. "I'm not going to chance some idiot messing up that ring knowing how important it is to you. That is, if you don't mind me wearing it around my neck like this."

After a relieved exhale of breath, I hand the ring out to him. Seifer smirks at me and strings it on the small necklace. It looks a bit tight and uncomfortable worn like that, but it should give me the chance to buy him a decent chain for it. A warm hand goes under my chin to force my gaze from his chest and to sea green eyes. He presses his lips against mine in a simple, perfect kiss.

"I love you," he whispers with his breath feeding my own.

"Don't leave me." All these months, and I couldn't bring myself until this moment to plead for something so stupid, so childish, so essential to me.

His eyes open a bit at the sudden words, but soon the corner of his mouth arches up in understanding. "Never. Just try to escape from me."

Pleased I place my forehead against his shoulder as he wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace. The chaste hold doesn't last long between us as he begins to nip at my neck while his hands travel forward to the buttons of my shirt. He kisses along the skin of my chest as new patches are exposed to the cool evening air. Within short time, Seifer is on his knees before me after all, his hands massaging my still covered ass. With heavy lidded eyes, I look out to the dark waters of the lake. A slight glow of white catches my gaze as a rather large feather flutters to the calm surface. It floats there for barely the length of one of my shortened breaths before disappearing into the night.

I guess it could have sunken into the water, a feather fallen from one of the numerous birds that must fly in this forest habitat. But I smile as if knowing better, taking the sign for the blessing that it is.

 

{Owari}


End file.
